You are not your flaws.

I loved Thursdays in middle school because it was the only day we were able to get ice cream during lunch. When I was in sixth grade, I finished my lunch and made my way to the ice cream machine to get some highly anticipated vanilla ice cream. As I was walking back to my seat, I distinctly remember a boy in my grade asking me, “Emma, are you sure you really need that ice cream?”

I was just a sixth grader trying to live a typical sixth grade life. I might have had a little more weight on me than my classmates, but what person that young should be so concerned about his or her appearance? That one comment I received fueled my detrimental habit of telling myself that I am not good enough.

If there is a teenager who has not compared himself to his peers, he should consider himself a lucky one.

In fact, Dr. Joe Rubino’s study found that 85 percent of the world’s population is affected by low self esteem. It’s no surprise that this is heightened among teens. 

The mainstream media is constantly telling consumers to ironically ignore the mainstream media and its expectations for beauty. It’s difficult for teens to see pictures of their role models looking flawless, who are often times actual models. What most understand but unfortunately forget is that they undergo a series of physical modifications.

The makeup, the hair, the outfit, the imitation wind, and the professional photoshopping are all intended to look as if none of it had happened. Nobody wants to see a model with curves that have blatantly been edited, and magazine editors are aware of that.

With that being said, a different study discovered that 70 percent of females have avoided doing basic daily tasks such as school, sports practice, and running errands because of bodily insecurities by the age of 17. A whopping 80 percent of 10 year old females in America consider themselves fat.

And females aren’t the only ones being affected – males are doing the exact opposite. An additional recent study found that over 40 percent of teenage boys regularly exercise to build muscle in hopes of achieving a probably unattainable body.

So if everyone knows that societal expectations are much too high, shouldn’t America be collectively content? Well, that’s the problem. Makeup companies, for example, tend to have contradicting actions and words. A television ad for mascara might convince viewers that the natural look is “in” and “trendy”.

But, the company is simultaneously shoving their product down the throats of consumers. “We want you to look natural, but purchase our mascara, concealer, eyeshadow, foundation, and bronzer to achieve the natural look,” the ads should truly say.

Even the most confident of all confident people have second thoughts when they walk down the makeup aisle. Even though she might have perfect skin with no blemishes, the fact that there is such a high demand for foundation can convince a female otherwise. [pullquote speaker=”” photo=”” align=”left” background=”off” border=”none” shadow=”off”]Yes, it’s true that eating an entire pizza right before finishing off a bucket of ice cream is unhealthy. Doctors will not deny that. But the most unhealthy habit teens struggle with by far is comparing themselves to others. [/pullquote]

Even though a male has biceps comparable to the Incredible Hulk, all he sees is that he is NOT the Hulk. And he wants to be.

Everyone has insecurities. Moms, dads, teachers, the boy sitting next to you in geometry, and even Beyoncé feels insecure at times.

Self-esteem issues are typically portrayed as being solely centered around feeling physically inadequate. However, insecurities are derived from simply thinking of yourself as not up to par. So next time your best friend gets an A on an English test and you struggle for a B, remember that she is comparing herself to you, too, in other aspects of her life. Comparing grades is never a good idea. The truth is that comparing anything about yourself to someone else will never turn out well.

Yes, it’s true that eating an entire pizza right before finishing off a bucket of ice cream is unhealthy. Doctors will not deny that. But the most unhealthy habit teens struggle with by far is comparing themselves to others. It will ruin a person.

By the time sophomore year rolled around, I was ironically standing in yet another lunch line. “Emma, someone told me that you look like you gained weight over the summer,” a classmate said. The difference was that this time, I was able to genuinely shrug it off by saying “Yes, I did. And I feel incredible.”

Everyone has flaws. Now it’s time to learn to embrace them. If there are two people exactly alike in the world, there wouldn’t be a need for one of them.

Tell yourself that you are enough. Middle and high school is emotionally rough. Adolescence is a rough time in general, but you are not alone.

To help teens understand that everyone has something they are less than proud of, I asked some students to be volunteer models (photoshop-free models, I might add). These people willingly shared personal information with me, and wrote their insecurities on a hand or arm.

You are not your insecurities, and you are not alone.